Teachable Moment
One of my former co-workers used to talk all the time about "teachable moments." That was simply code for "you've done something wrong" and now it's time to learn to improve.I'm in desperate need for a series of teachable moments. I've recently realized I don't know how to take a compliment. Actually, I've known this for a while, but I think it's getting worse instead of better.
I've always said that part of my problem is that because of IE, I'm used to getting compliments on paper. Anything else seems like somebody's been blowing smoke up my butt. However, I'm realizing now that anytime anybody gives me any kind of compliment, whether I believe it or not, I don't know how to properly respond. And frankly, I don't know how to solve this problem. For a while I thought that I could respond appropriately to sincere compliments, but either I've not heard a sincere compliment in months (which is possible, but I doubt it), or I've got some major issues.
Ideas?
posted by cinegod @ 3:54 PM
2 Comments:
I used to have the same problem.
Any compliment, from "Leslie Ann, I love that skirt" or "Your script is hilarious" to "The Secretary really liked your memo. Great job"--I just knew they were patronizing me. Then one day I got a compliment from our Deputy Chief of Staff and after I tried to laugh it off with some self-deprecating joke, she just flat our told me, "You don't need to do that when someone compliments you. Just take it and smile and say thank you!" Ever since she said that, that's exactly what I've tried to do. It's really hard, but it feels more natural with practice:)
Consider 2 factors:
1) you've come from the political/PR arena. you shouldn't be surprised that you've become jaded to both false praise and false modesty. And as I'm sure you're aware, the entertainment biz isn't exactly flourishing with honesty, so gird yourself against it in your work. To quote the late Ralph Wiley, "all a man has got is the integrity of his work." Let your work speak for itself.
2) To borrow from Gary Chapman, it may be that the way you connect with people is not through verbal affirmation, but someother means, be it quality time spent together, acts of service, etc. So you may be unaffected by verbal affirmation- no big deal. Just don't put a lot of stock in it, and learn to connect in other ways that seem more natural to you, and you'll receive your encouragement/affirmation that way.
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