Memo to Studio Heads
MEMORANDUMTo: All Studio Heads
From: Common Sense (I know you don't see a lot of me)
Re: Spielberg and Cruise
Under NO circumstances are you to allow these two to work together ever again. Mr. Spielberg can be a brilliant director. There are few movie stars on the planet bigger than Mr. Cruise (his recent PR nightmare aside).
While the two men collaborated together on Minority Report, the results were negligible, slightly painful, but forgettable without too much difficulty.
However, that was before the fiasco that is War of the Worlds. After something so tremendously bad, it is in all our best efforts to prevent something so cataclysmic wrong from occurring again. I know we don't always follow this rule (Michael Bay does continue to find work), but this film is so atrocious that the next person who allows a collaboration between these two should forfeit his/her personal fortune.
There is nothing in the film that works. The characters are ridiculous, obnoxious, and thinly drawn. Even Cruise's star wattage can't save a man-child character like Ray. Unlike most Spielberg films, there is virtually no suspense or excitement. There is simply darkness. The film makes Hook look like Citizen Kane. The ending has to go down as one of the most ludicrous, preposterous, and morally irresponsible endings seen in recent years. There were too many people in the theater in which I saw this laughing at the ending. That is not good for either man's career, the movie, the industry, or the culture. Frankly, I don't think it's good for God either, but then I suspect He's upset over the theologically unsound voice-over that ends the film, so we might escape His wrath on this one, but it is in our best interest to prevent another venture that might remind Him of this atrocity.
I implore you, think of the public we serve, instead of your wallets, the next time these two gentlemen come to you, wanting to work together. For if they create another venture with one another, then it is only fair to think aliens will come down and destroy us for such an unholy creation.
posted by cinegod @ 12:19 AM
5 Comments:
Wow. Is it this year's "Catwoman"?
So tell us how you REALLY feel about it:-)
I find it amazing how different people have such diverse reactions - especially since I've heard great reviews of this movie.
Now I'm not sure we're going to waste the $16...
I really liked it when the three legged robots were zapping people.
Re: the ending- Spielberg stayed true to the source material. Which begs the question- should you keep all aspects of the orginal the same out of respect, even if it doesn't work particularly well? It seemed like a sort of "Twilight Zone" type of ending.
***standing up and applauding everything Anthony said***
bravo
Hmm, I liked it a lot, maybe because I knew about the plot holes ahead of time. I went into it expecting a horror film, and I got one, so no complaints here.
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