Feeling Somebody Out
Why do I always get behind/beside the person that's high whenever I go to a concert?Friendships, like all relationships, are sometimes really hard work and can be weird at first. As I was telling someone not too long ago, I'm pretty far on the "I" scale, so I tend to really make something out of the friendships I have instead of trying to have a lot of them. I prefer quality over quantity.
However, I know a lot of people approach friendships differently and either you click with the person and want to hang out with them a lot or you don't. Simple and done. I don't subscribe to that theory. I don't meet lots of new people and frankly, I feel like it's so much work in trying to be social that if I think the other person's interesting, I want to "make it work."
So I met this guy at church Sunday who just moved to L.A. from somewhere in the South. After talking to him a little bit, I immediately liked the guy. He's cool and we seem to have a lot in common. He gave me his number and said give him a call and we'd hang out. When I called, he was watching Freaks & Geeks on DVD. Right then and there I knew we'd totally hit it off. (I completely think he's my new stand-in for the D.A. The fact that he's a graphic designer and married, only reinforces this more, though he also totally reminds me of someone from our Act One DC class too--the style, music, look, etc.)
So Thursday night we went to this club to see this band that I'd never heard of. (And it was not my kind of thing. The opening band was a bunch of impudent high school students from Nashville that made me really appreciate the high school guys I worked with more. The next band was pretty S&M, so by the time the headliners came on, I was trying to avoid getting smashed by the girls in front of me that were high and jumping around.) From the time I picked him up till the time I dropped him off afterwards, it was like we were a half-second behind one another. It didn't perfectly click. It wasn't bad; we just weren't perfectly in sync.
Then it dawned on me that it's been a while since I've had to really work at a friendship. All the other people I've met out here, I've shared some kind of big bond with (Job Corps, Act One, etc.) and we sort of circulate from that out. Friendships haven't there first and outward second.
I feel like the stand-in for the D.A. and I have already solidified that first ring of friendship with church. (Maybe that's stupid to say since it's only been a week.) The next couple of rings are going to be more interesting. I think we're both up for it, it's just gonna take a bit of feeling one another out to figure out how to make the next layer of the cake work.
I can't wait. As long as I don't have to go to see that band again.
posted by cinegod @ 3:55 PM
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